{"id":4626,"date":"2023-03-19T21:23:59","date_gmt":"2023-03-19T21:23:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/?p=4626"},"modified":"2023-04-29T14:22:11","modified_gmt":"2023-04-29T14:22:11","slug":"on-pets-moral-logic-and-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/19\/on-pets-moral-logic-and-love\/","title":{"rendered":"On Pets, Moral Logic and Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>excerpted from an article <em>by Tish Harrison Warren <\/em>in the New York Time<\/em>s<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>There is a paucity in the English language for the many types of \u201clove&#8221;.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In January, I fell in love with someone. It was the last thing I\u2019d expect and caught me completely off guard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He has sandy blond hair with flecks of gray and gorgeous, sad eyes. He loves to go on walks and cuddle. His name is Herbie. He is just over eight pounds and is a mutt of some terrier variety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My affection for Herbie came as a surprise because I have never been much of a pet person. I don\u2019t want to sound like Cruella de Vil. My go-to line when asked if I had a pet was that I didn\u2019t but that I loved my friends\u2019 pets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But if I\u2019m honest, there\u2019s a little more to it than that. When I was in my early 20s, at a conference on global inequality, I saw a video that interspersed photos of people in intense poverty and famine with news clips reporting on the epidemic of overweight dogs in the United States. The video was direct and didactic. It affected me, even more so after I spent time in East Africa and saw grinding poverty up close.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I didn\u2019t think it was wrong to have a pet, and I\u2019m surrounded by people who are so enthusiastic about their pets that I\u2019d never articulate this concern out loud. Yet in an unspoken place inside me, I\u2019d created a zero-sum system where any money, time or energy I gave to a domestic animal was taking money, time or energy from other humans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m not the only one to feel this tension. In a 2018 episode of the hit sitcom \u201cBlackish,\u201d the Johnson kids ask for a dog. Their father, Dre, later says, \u201cYou know what makes me angry? People giving more consideration to animals than people\u201d and brings up those who raised money for stray animals after Hurricane Katrina when human lives were at stake. Pope Francis&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/01\/06\/world\/europe\/pope-pets-kids.html\" class=\"\">drew ire last year<\/a>&nbsp;when he criticized couples who have pets instead of children. A friend of mine lamented to me that during the holidays, her corporate office voted each year on a charity to donate to and each year the local no-kill animal shelter would win. Exasperated, my friend said, \u201cI don\u2019t even care what the charity is at this point. I just want it to be for human beings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Beyond that, pets are a lot of work, and with three children, I already had enough small, hungry creatures needing me and didn\u2019t want to add another. So I had settled into happily being a non-pet person. Then, along came Herbie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A friend of ours texted me. Her family had found a dog, emaciated and shivering, no tags, no chip. They had done an exhaustive search for the owner, but no one turned up. Because of their lease agreement, they couldn\u2019t keep him and the shelters were full. Would we consider taking him? They sent a photo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My children had been begging for a dog for months. Without a word, I handed the phone to my husband, thinking \u201cOh, no, I see where this is going.\u201d He had grown up around dogs and is a softy. He took one look at the sad little guy wrapped in a blanket and that was that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Herbie moved in. He came anxious and traumatized. Ever so slowly, he gained weight. His pallid coat began to shine. His tail began to wag more. He began to respond to his name and come when we called him. Now the only thing he wants in the whole world is for us to pet him. Well, that and cheese. What\u2019s surprising, though, is how he\u2019s changing us. My husband credits him with resuscitating his prayer life. He wakes early now to let the dog out so he has a couple of quiet hours in the morning to read, to pray, to jog, to center. This is his favorite time of day, and he\u2019d tried to get up early for years, but the alarm proved less of a motivation than this insistent ball of fur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Herbie has also forced us to be gentler. My family is raucous and roughhousing, but we found quickly that whatever Herbie has been through causes him to lose his mind around loud noises. So we\u2019ve had to learn to yell less, be gentler and, as a result, be kinder. Herbie held up a mirror to our family and wisely told us to chill out a little. When I travel now, I miss Herbie and worry over him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The problem with my belief that any resources, energy or affection I could give a pet was stolen from human beings who needed it more was that it was a kind utilitarianism. But love is not something you can plot on an Excel spreadsheet with inputs and outputs carefully marked. It isn\u2019t a math equation. It is also not like a pie, where if someone takes a piece, everyone else\u2019s gets smaller. Just the opposite, really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The 18th-century preacher Jonathan Edwards said that love restores \u201can excellent enlargement, and extensiveness, and liberality to the soul.\u201d Love is opening one\u2019s heart to another. And once your heart opens, the door keeps getting wider. Love expands. The more you give, the more you have. My love for my husband and kids led me to open the door for Herbie. And love for Herbie is teaching my \u201cBam-Bam\u201d of a little 3-year-old boy how to be more careful around others. Tenderness for Herbie is making us each more tender in general, more constitutionally tender. \u201cThe love we have for our pets,\u201d&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.christianitytoday.com\/ct\/2014\/august-web-only\/lessons-from-loving-and-losing-pet.html\" target=\"_blank\">wrote<\/a>&nbsp;Karen Swallow Prior in a 2014  essay, \u201cincreases the love we have to offer the world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the creation story in Genesis, Adam names the animals. There is something inherently loving and dignifying in giving something a name. These creatures, like us but different, were not mere machines to treat however we pleased. They were worthy of a name. Caring for animals, then, is something that is deeply human and therefore&nbsp;<em class=\"\">humanizing<\/em>. The \u201cdominion\u201d humans are given over creation in Genesis is a care-taking role, a role marked by love, not merely power. In the creation story, humans and animals live not in competition but in mutual delight. C.S. Lewis went so far as to suggest, \u201cThe tame animal is, therefore, in the deepest sense, the only \u2018natural\u2019 animal &#8211; the only one we see occupying the place it was made to occupy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The problem, then, is not that we shouldn\u2019t love animals or that what we experience for animals isn\u2019t actually love. The problem is the paucity of a single English word for many types of \u201clove.\u201d \u201cWe kind of know the difference between \u2018I love peanut butter\u2019 and \u2018I love my mom,\u2019\u201d the Catholic bishop (and dog owner) Daniel Flores&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncregister.com\/interview\/bishop-flores-and-the-theology-of-pets\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\">told<\/a>&nbsp;the National Catholic Register last year. \u201cSo it\u2019s within that scale that we can say, \u2018I love this dog.\u2019 I thank God that it\u2019s here in creation, and I happen to share a planet with it, and not just a planet, but a backyard.\u201d Or in my case, a roof.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I still think Americans sometimes go a little too crazy over pets, and I won\u2019t be referring to Herbie as my \u201cfur baby\u201d anytime soon. But I find genuine joy in making a beloved little creature happy. And I have discovered a unique kind of pleasure in watching my human loved ones love an animal, seeing my husband collapse after a hard day and curl up with Herbie, who worships the very ground he walks on. Or seeing my daughters drop their book bags the second they get home and pull Herbie in for a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cHerbie\u201d is a nickname. The full name is George Herbert, after the 17th-century Anglican priest and poet. Herbert\u2019s poem&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.poetryfoundation.org\/poems\/44367\/love-iii\" target=\"_blank\">Love (III),<\/a>&nbsp;which is about God\u2019s inexplicably generous, expansive love for human beings, begins with the words: \u201cLove Bade me Welcome.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love, without diminishing, always welcomes more. And so, Herbie, welcome home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>excepted from an article &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2023\/03\/19\/opinion\/pets-dogs-love.html?unlocked_article_code=KFMbuPzX1o8UoD_WBZmbHG6lc8TkWDWFrhiyi3asmlZEq56U_cOOI08VrQCsooXrhCHmat72N7h7bCwiQJFLPzdKLauSUlUnKMBy4e0NcQXkT4G3by-XHVsLCixF9eBm6K1vO22XaHTpOP63JmtTA_rQdfS2BfLS_ZKTRVhm7syJk_px1z4N9nq5R6R3ERla1QtyC-VkqPt9BcRplQ152Nb_cH4DE0n5MCMnObcBfG1fDCFdPJeqeIdRHmAVNNkVrWYwoZEJrpSOxD6PvT3j3R_9GSRf4RW52-IErCcHsFBTWZet3FYm8KR2it2aXYPrWP8hgs5a7g&amp;smid=url-share\">On Pets, Moral Logic and Love<\/a>&#8221; by Tish Harrison Warren in the New York Times, 19 March 2023<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:50px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns are-vertically-aligned-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-8f761849 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/31\/reconsidering-treatment-resistant-depression\/\">previous<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-center is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/18\/a-little-motivation-to-take-a-walk\/\">next<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>excerpted from an article by Tish Harrison Warren in the New York Times There is a paucity in the English language for the many types of \u201clove&#8221;. In January, I fell in love with someone. It was the last thing I\u2019d expect and caught me completely off guard. He has sandy blond hair with flecks&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5285,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[231],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-good-reads"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4626"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6197,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4626\/revisions\/6197"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}