{"id":4464,"date":"2023-03-16T17:50:25","date_gmt":"2023-03-16T17:50:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/?p=4464"},"modified":"2023-04-29T14:22:56","modified_gmt":"2023-04-29T14:22:56","slug":"how-to-feel-alive-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/16\/how-to-feel-alive-again\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Feel Alive Again"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Katherine May, best-selling author, has one simple question to help you get started.<\/strong> For her, it all started with a Post-it note.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGo for a walk,\u201d it said, the no-nonsense command perched in a prominent spot above Katherine May\u2019s desk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ms. May, a British author who wrote the best-selling memoir \u201cWintering<\/a>\u201d about a fallow and difficult period of her life, had come across more hard times during the height of the pandemic. She was bored, restless, burned out. Her usual ritual – walking – had fallen away, along with other activities that used to bring her pleasure: collecting pebbles, swimming in the sea, savoring a book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere was nothing that made the world feel interesting to me,\u201d Ms. May said in a recent interview with The New York Times. \u201cI felt like my head was kind of full and empty at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Ms. May\u2019s latest book, \u201cEnchantment,\u201d she describes how a simple series of actions, like writing that note, helped her to discover little things that filled her with wonder and awe – and, in turn, made her feel alive again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou have to keep pursuing it until you get that tingle that tells you that you\u2019ve found something that\u2019s magical to you,\u201d Ms. May said. \u201cIt\u2019s trial and error, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We asked Ms. May for tips on how you can do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Commit to noticing the world around you<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe have to find the humility to be open to experience every single day and to allow ourselves to learn something,\u201d Ms. May wrote in \u201cEnchantment.\u201d This, she acknowledges, \u201cis easier said than done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet yourself go past those thoughts that tell you it\u2019s silly or pointless or a waste of time, or you\u2019re far too busy to possibly do this,\u201d Ms. May said during the interview. \u201cInstead give yourself permission to want that in the first place – to crave that contact with the sacred, and that feeling of being able to commune with something that\u2019s bigger than you are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Entering a state of wonder is akin to using a muscle, Ms. May said. Put yourself in that mind-set more often and it gradually becomes easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, you must \u201cgive in to the fascination\u201d that you feel in everyday moments. For example, Ms. May gets \u201creally excited\u201d when she sees light dance across the surface of her coffee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t force it, though. The key, she said, is to keep looking for the things that make you marvel – and have faith that you will encounter them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What you find pleasurable might be quite simple: Ms. May has often felt awe when examining a small bug in her garden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve told ourselves that everything needs to be so big,\u201d she said. \u201cActually, we can just breathe out and live quite small lives.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of thinking about what you find enchanting, which may feel too difficult to answer, Ms. May suggests asking yourself a different question: What soothes you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask yourself one simple question<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It might be going on a walk. Or visiting an art museum. Maybe you enjoy watching the shifting clouds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever it is, find a way to do it. Every morning, Ms. May goes outside and smells the air \u201clike a dog,\u201d she said with a laugh. She notices the color of the sky and the way her skin feels against the cool air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some people, that soothing moment might be found in a place of worship, or while staring at the moon. \u201cThe moon is so beautiful, and when you look at the moon you can\u2019t help but notice the stars and the planets that are out in the night sky,\u201d said Ms. May, who observes the phase of the moon regularly. \u201cIt\u2019s just a lovely, lovely thing to do. Every day. And it\u2019s so easy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to spend more time in personal reflection but you are concerned about doing it the \u201cright\u201d way, set aside that concern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Ms. May was learning to meditate, for instance, she aimed to do so twice a day for 20 minutes, but not before or after sleep, and never after a meal. Then she became a mother and finding the time to meditate became more difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contemplate and reflect in your own way<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou come to a point in your life when you think, \u2018This is just simply impossible,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cFor a long time I thought, \u2018I\u2019ve failed. Obviously I should be able to do this.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, she had a realization: The problem wasn\u2019t that she hadn\u2019t tried hard enough, it was that those rules weren\u2019t made for her. They had been created by someone who had never walked in her shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now she meditates in a different way. Sometimes she does it for five minutes in the middle of the night, or while walking through the woods. \u201cFor me, it\u2019s never been about clearing my mind,\u201d Ms. May said. \u201cIt\u2019s about undertaking the kind of slower work of processing all of those things that are itching at the back of your brain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do it because it feels good<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People tend to think that seeking pleasure for pleasure\u2019s sake is somehow na\u00efve, Ms. May said. In other words, we are more likely to assign worth to things that are considered practical and efficient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you don\u2019t need a set of data or another compelling reason to do something that brings you joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, one of Ms. May\u2019s hobbies is cold water swimming. She doesn\u2019t do it to burn calories. Rather, it\u2019s for \u201cthe sheer pleasure of being in that incredible space,\u201d she said, not to mention \u201chow sensual it is, and the amazing happy hormones it releases.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And although Ms. May initially took a beekeeping class to learn how to make honey at home, this goal became less urgent when she became filled with awe as a student.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI could still, technically, do that, but I realize now that this is never what I really wanted,\u201d Ms. May wrote in \u201cEnchantment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The enjoyment of it all – the connection with her teachers and classmates, the sensory delights – surpassed any practical ambitions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want to take it slowly, to absorb my lessons through the skin and the ears, to sometimes get stung,\u201d she wrote of the experience. And she described the wonder she found in the class: \u201cThey are so loud when they all sing together, and with the smell of honey and propolis, the smoke, the way the whole box vibrates under your hands, it is quite absolute, this interaction of human and bee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

adapted from the article, \u201c<\/em>How to Find More Joy in Your Day, According to Author Katherine May<\/em><\/a>\u201d, by Christina Caron, published in the New York Times, 27 Feb, 2023<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n

previous<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

next<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Katherine May, best-selling author, has one simple question to help you get started. For her, it all started with a Post-it note. \u201cGo for a walk,\u201d it said, the no-nonsense command perched in a prominent spot above Katherine May\u2019s desk. Ms. May, a British author who wrote the best-selling memoir \u201cWintering\u201d about a fallow and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5290,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[231],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-good-reads"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4464"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4464\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6199,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4464\/revisions\/6199"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4464"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4464"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ronniestanglermd.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}